Category: Teens

Parenting Teenagers

1/7/2013

Parenting teenagers can be very challenging but also really rewarding. Adolescence is an important developmental stage that often has a big impact on our later lives. Both parents and teenagers may approach adolescence with a mix of feelings.

Keeping all of this in mind, I will regularly be writing parenting articles for parents with teenagers for All4Women.co.za. I hope that these articles empower parents to assist themselves as well as their adolescents. Links to my first two articles can be found below:

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Raising Teens Without Ruining Your Marriage

3/6/2013

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Parenting children at any age can be stressful and difficult for parents. Dealing with this stress often impacts on the parents relationship with each other. Adolescence is commonly experienced as one of the more difficult developmental periods to parent. It hence may be more stressful and have a greater impact on the parents relationship. However, it is not just the stress of parenting teenagers that may increase this impact but the very nature of the developmental issues that adolescents are working through.

Psychologist Suzanne Phillips suggests three guiding principals (balance, communication and connection) that specifically assist with your teenager's navigation of their developmental tasks as well help strengthen your relationship with your partner. In Phillips' article (Raising Teens Without Ruining Your Marriage: Three Principles), she provides a useful overview of the difficulties underlying adolescence and how these may guide how teenagers may feel and behave. She relates these developmental challenges to the specific tasks parents of teenagers face and how they can practically address these while strengthening their own relationship. She also emphasise how rewarding and growth-promoting this period may be for you, your relationship and your adolescent:

"Whatever else life offers, raising a teen will probably offer you the greatest moments of joy and the greatest moments of stress. As such it can invite problems that strain your marriage and possibilities that enhance your parenting and partnering."

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Making Sex Normal

6/5/2013

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Do you find it awkward talking about sex? Does this mean you do not talk about sex with your partner, children, friends, doctor or community? What are the implications of not talking about sex? In the following TEDx Talk Debbie Herbenick shares useful personal examples of the dangers of not talking about sex. She also mentions how not talking about sex can impact on:

Our children's safety
How we view our bodies
Having adequate information about ourselves and properly accessing healthcare
Fully utilising our bodies
The intimacy in our relationships
Understanding sexual diversity
The spread of sexually transmitted diseases; and
How we deal with rape and sexual violence

After watching this video you may feel quite different about what that awkwardness may cost you and the people around you. Herbenick challenges everyone to make sex normal and provides practical ways in which you can make sex normal.

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The Teenage Brain

8/4/2013

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Adolescence is often seen as a turbulent time, especially from the perspective of parents. During the teenage years the individual goes through various social changes within their family, peer groups and culture as well as physically and emotionally. In the following video, Lisa Kudrow (yes, she was biology major!) interviews Abby Baird (a psychology professor at Vassar College in New York) about the teenage brain. Baird provides an interesting discussion about how the adolescent brain can be viewed as an adult brain in practice and how fluctuations in abilities such as decision making can be attributed to this practice. The discussion is aimed at the lay person but also deals with important - and often complex - neuropsycholology and may be a useful resource for parents, teacher and adolescents (among others) to better understand the biology underlying "typical" adolescent behaviour. Baird also makes some important points about applying with caution general findings to individuals (especially around gender) and how key it is for parents to understand their children's own idiosyncrasies.

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Being a Good Enough Parent

4/4/2013

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Parenting can be a challenging task by itself but with constant "DOs and DON'Ts" from family members, friends, professionals and the ever increasing media parents may feel overwhelmed, pulled in multiple (often opposing) directions and find it hard to find their own unique parenting styles. In the following article psychologist Judith Ancer provides helpful suggestions on the importance of finding a balance as well as useful practical tips on how to do this:
http://judithancer.wordpress.com/2012/10/20/the-good-enough-parent/

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Parenting Teenagers

Raising Teens Without Ruining Your Marriage

Making Sex Normal

The Teenage Brain

Being a Good Enough Parent

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